Gretchen’s Blog About Tamra

Here it is, in case she takes it down

This is the blog I wrote after the airing of the reunion show last year (season four). Both Tamra and my blog were removed from the bravo website due to unknown reasons, and therefore I found it important to make sure the truth was still heard. This is the only reason I still have this blog up. Tamra has tried to taint who I am as a person and Jeff’s and my relationship for way to long. It was about time I addressed all her lies, and set the record straight since TV only shows you want they want you to see.
I had already written my blog yesterday regarding this “lost episode” and didn’t get to send it in because I was at Slade’s son’s graduation. On my way home I received tons of calls and e-mails regarding Tamra’s blog on Bravotv.com and the “excuses” she used for her inappropriate actions on the reunion show. So of course, I read what she wrote and now feel forced to address the lies she continues to spin to the press and the public. Sorry in advance for this being long winded, but I have been QUIET for way too long, and it’s about time the truth be told as Tamra so eloquently pointed out.
First of all let me state this very clearly, Tamra changes her story according to how it best suites her in that moment. I have honestly never met anyone so contradictory in my life (or someone that just plan lies to your face) Let’s address some of Tamra’s “stories” as I like to call them.

Story #1: She states that I asked her and Simon to have a threesome the night of her infamous dinner party in the very late hours of that dinner, but contradictory to that claim, she sent me several texts after seeing that footage in season four, and stating that she was appalled at what she said about getting me “naked wasted” and that she was so drunk she had no idea she said those things at all. So if that was the case, then how convenient for her now to all of a sudden have a clear mind that night and remember that she supposedly heard me say I wanted to have a threesome? Maybe that’s a fantasy of hers, but it surly is not mine. I would never say something like that, as a matter of fact Tamra is the one who spends her time on national TV season four talking about having crazy sex, shopping at sex shops, and having to keep things better then the same old peanut butter and jelly sandwich. How miraculous that she all of a sudden pops out of her drunken state and could remember what was said, and to boot at the late part of the night (aren’t you normally drunker later?) In her own blog about that dinner party she states that Simon stayed up with me making some food while she was hugging a toilet. So when did I say this exactly again? If you ask me she wasn’t getting any response from me during the reunion show about her accusations so she needed to reach for the stars on something else hoping it might stick. (I.e. I picked up on Don, Ryan, and then the threesome comment) I mean seriously what is it? Pick one already. This is when you see me drop my mouth in amazement and say “you seriously have some balls”. Tamra was reaching even for her.
Story #2: About “J and I” involving Tamra in a love triangle. First, let me be clear! There was NO love triangle to involve Tamra in, second J, NOT me involved Tamra in this. I said it on the reunion show and I say it again now, “I cannot control what someone else does”. J was someone that I thought was a friend and it turned out he wanted something much more with me, when he couldn’t have that it caused him to do things that were not right. J calling Tamra in the middle of the night was because he was drunk and angry. He wanted to hurt me and therefore he tried to create conflict by calling Tamra and claiming he was my boyfriend. Tamra took the bait, hook line and sinker and he got exactly what he wanted. The next morning when I called to talk to Tamra about it, I apologized to her that he had called and said I was not sure how he had her number, but maybe he had gotten into my computer or my phone. At the time J was someone I considered to be a very dear friend, and he was someone that I believed had my best interest at heart. He would come to the house offering to take out the trash, or change light bulbs, or help around the house since Jeff was no longer able to do those things. He made me laugh during a very tough time in my life, and he and many of our mutual friends would go out and try to get my mind off the crap I was dealing with in the hospital, so yes it would make sense that people would see us out around town. Unfortunately, unbeknown to me he was going through my things, I believe stole pictures from my home and computer, and had access to personal information during those times because of access to my home. Now I understand and know he was planning on hurting me with those things at some point if he couldn’t have what he wanted. I later was told that he was out bragging around town he would figure out a way to make money off me.

As I said I called Tamra after J’s phone call that night to her and apologized to her, and said that he was acting “stalkerish”, because his irrational and strange actions were causing me to feel that way. I didn’t speak to him for weeks until he sent me a “I’m sorry” e-mail. He stated he was drunk and was wrong for doing what he did . I even forwarded J’s e-mail to Tamra. She said she understood and was sorry I was dealing with that because she has dealt with some of the same issues with guys from her past before, and I believed we had put it behind us. Obviously that was not the case.
And just for the record Tamra had already been on camera several times tallking crap about me long before this “phone call” to her was made (it was made half way through the season). So for her to blame her actions towards me all season on this guy calling, I believe was just a cop out. And as Lynne so brilliantly said during the lost footage episode to Tamra “So what’s your reason for being so mean to me”; proves my point even more.
Story # 3: I had no idea J continued to call her until much later, and once again him continuing to call her is not anything I was controlling. Tamra said on the “lost episode” that he kept calling every night at late hours, so if that doesn’t prove my point of him acting “stalkerish” with his behavior I don’t know what would, but again I didn’t know that he was continuing to call her until much later. J acted one way with me, but was obviously up to something else behind the scenes. I have never seen Tamra out on the town, so for her to say she saw him and I “very cozy” while out on the town is a flat out lie! I had no idea that J was talking to Simon behind my back and feeding him lies about our supposed relationship till much later. I also still don’t understand why Tamra wouldn’t have just told him to stop calling and that she has nothing to say to him. A guy will not keep calling if you shut all those doors, but obviously there is a part of that story that is missing. She says I dragged her into this but from my point of view she is the one that continued to allow herself to be involved. If that was me I would have told the guy to go pound sand, never to call again and if he continued I would get my husband on the phone and tell him we do not want to be involved and if you don’t stop harassing us we will get a restraining order! I now believe it was part of a bigger plan.
I would like to address her comments in regards to Bass Lake as well and J being up there for the day. J decided to drive up to Bass Lake for one day because he said he was sick of partying in Havasu for the holiday. I told him I would be there with my family and that he was welcome to come up to Bass Lake and hang out for the day because it was very chill. My family knew who he was, as did Jeff, and my parents would have never allowed J to be there if they believed for one second I was having an affair with him on Jeff! That’s just absurd! As I mentioned on the reunion show, Jeff had meet J, and he knew J was up in Bass Lake with us for the day because I talked to him several times throughout the day. The film crew was there that weekend as well, shooting for the show, so why in heaven’s sake would I allow this guy to be on camera if I was having an affair? Isn’t that just plain stupid? For Tamra to act like she was “calling me out” on something during the reunion show about him being in Bass Lake is hilarious because she didn’t even know any of the details. She simply was looking for an excuse to not like me and act the way she did towards me. I have realized some people don’t have the most innocent of intentions and that has been a rough lesson to learn lately.
Story #4: Tamra would just love it if she could convince everyone that I was using Jeff this “poor sick man to get on T.V.” Tamra even said to me at one of our first lunch meetings that Simon seemed to think that Jeff being ill was a big advantage for me because then everyone would feel sorry for me and like me. I found that to be a very strange statement. She knew her claims about J would help excuse her behavior as a person and possibly make people doubt me or not like me. Are you kidding me, how sick can they be? How can someone possibly say something so awful about a couple dealing with a deadly disease? And for the record again, I was approached to do the show, I didn’t audition like Tamra did through the internet by sending in a resume and picture to do the show. I had no intention of doing the show and certainly didn’t go looking for it. It was an opportunity that was brought to me, I originally was very hesitant to do the show but Jeff, who always liked an adventure, was actually the one that convinced me to do the show. So for her to say that I was using this poor man to get on a T.V. show is just ludicrous. Since Tamra never meet Jeff she could have never known any of the details about our relationship and the reasons we agreed to do the show. For her to just make assumptions based off a strange man’s phone calls to her in the middle of the night makes no sense at all. She herself said J was “trouble” and “wouldn’t stop calling”. Once again completely contradictory!
Story #5 Tamra states in her blog that “she was prepared to talk about J at the reunion show” yet in the weeks prior to the show she sends me texts saying she has no intention of talking about J because she didn’t want the drama and that is exactly what the audience and the Network wanted”. Then we attend the Virgin American event (in April 2009) and she tells me (with Lynne as my witness) she was forced to talk about J at the reuninon. Why? I’ll address that in a minute, but the point is, her story changes again. Then in her blog she states that J texted Simon just to stir things up on the day of the reunion, so if that was the case then why was she so surprised that I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about? Obviously I had no idea J was trying to stir things up because I believed J and I were friends and that he had my best interest at heart. I later realized that was not the case. Throughout the off season as Tamra and I talked she told me many times to be careful of J and that she believed he was trying to get his 15 minutes of fame. This is also when she told me about the continuous phone calls he made too them. So if she knew he was “trouble” and was only trying to get his 15 minutes of fame then why would J texting Simon affect her so much that she turned into such a mean bitch on set. I couldn’t quite understand it and that is why you see me asking her “why do you care so much about who is my friend or not, how does it effect you?” I just couldn’t understand the reasoning behind her ambush. Especially because I felt we had buried the hatchet on this issue many many times.

Well the very next morning I found out why she exploded like she did. It wasn’t about me at all, it was about the e-mail she received from her own husband, Simon, that day of the reunion show. I know she knows exactly what I am talking about here because I still have the e-mail saved and I responded to both Tamra and Simon to let them know I got CC’d on the e-mail. The most ironic part is that the e-mail came from her husband Simon because he was trying to save face with the cast and copied all of us on that e-mail, about Tamra lying to all of us about the reason he showed up in Vegas earlier in the season. Get this, the title of that e-mail addressed to Tamra from Simon was “Your B.S. and Lies” Ironic huh? Her own husband is addressing Tamra as a liar. Classic. I will get to that e-mail in a second but on another note I want to express that what really sucks about this whole thing is I really don’t think this is anyone’s business and I never brought this up because I just don’t like to be this way, but unfortunately when someone goes so out of their way to try to defame your character, at some point you have to call them on their own BS. I have let this go and go, tried to let it die, tried to not to add fuel to the fire, and take the punches and roll with them, but I am so done with this now! It’s so obvious that Tamra is out to hurt me and therefore I am forced to have to go here with all this because she continues to spin her lies to benefit herself and cover her own lies.

Simon writes this in the e-mail to his beloved wife and I quote; “So what did you say to Gretchen and Vicki at the pool? And maybe you should tell everyone the truth about Vegas and how you lied to me to get me to come up there. Or I will” The whole truth? I don’t need J’s text to prove what you told them lies about me the next day. Marriage is about being honest and loyal. Try it. I would have never done that to you. I don’t deserve it. Make it right.” End quote! Isn’t it funny how in every blog or piece of press Tamra claims she’s just “ Keeping it Real” or “The truth will set you free” Ha Ha Ha She tries so hard to convince the world she is always being truthful because every other word out of her mouth is a bullhonkey two faced lie.

As I put the pieces together in my mind I realized that the time of the e-mail sent by Simon was exactly when we were coming back from our lunch break during the reunion show, and wha-la,! I all of a sudden realized why Tamra flew off the handle with me that day. J texted something to Simon that made Simon realize that Tamra lied to all of us about why he came up to Vegas. By Simon sending Tamra that e-mail above, it sent a backlash of emotions that came pouring over onto me about how I am such a liar/victim, all the while her own husband is saying “marriage is about being honest and loyal, try it” Tamra was so mad she got busted because of some text from J to Simon. No mind you, I had no clue any of this had transpired. J and I had corresponded by text that day in regards to how the day was going; he never told me he had sent a text over to Simon that day. Now unfortunately as I put the pieces together I believe that was all a part of his plan, and to get his name on T.V.

I think the only thing Tamra and I agree on to this day is that J was looking to have his 15 minutes of fame no matter what avenue he took.

I have to say though, funny how she was calling me a liar on National Television, all the while her own husband was calling her a liar in an e-mail to her. This is part of the reason you see me say “am I being set up” on the lost footage episode. It really came out of nowhere her attacking me. Let’s see her now try to explain her way out of that one. I’m sure it will be someone else’s fault, or she will say I made this up, but the good news is that Simon CC’d everyone involved in this situation so all the cast and crew know exactly what I am talking about. Even Jeana admits to this particular e-mail beginning of season five.

Story #6 Tamra having to show up in court! What a flipping joke this one is. For the record I didn’t just NOT show up for my own court case. I DROPPED the case the day before it was even heard in court. That was from advice of my attorney, as J told his own attorney he didn’t care if I got a restraining order against him, which lead me to believe all he wanted was a media circus and I was not about to allow my serious concerns to be made a mockery out of in the press. When I heard he was involving Tamra in the case I immediately texted her. The reason for the text was because I had just seen her two weeks prior at the Virgin America event. I once again believed her when she said she wanted to call a truce and she would no longer talk about me. She claimed she just wanted all this to be over.

In good faith I agreed, and was looking forward to being past all this, but once again her story changes. Tamra and I exchanged texts messages the day before court and she stated that she wasn’t happy and was very stressed about having to go into court. I understood and felt bad she had been drug into my situation by J once again and told her I was going to drop the case per my attorney’s advice. J had already violated the Temporary Restraining Order once and it became obvious a piece of paper was not going to protect me from what he was consistently doing. I not only texted her the night before, but then again the morning confirming that the case had been withdrawn. Tamra knew the case had been taken off calendar because J’s attorney called all the people that were going to be in court that day the night before to let them know. But low and behold guess who still shows up to court……Tamra. Then surprise surprise she talks to press and spins her lies again, claiming she found it very strange that I didn’t show up for this case, when she knew damn well the day before I was dropping the case and the reasons for it because I texted her, and she responded! Then Tamra goes on to say that it “shows my real character”, and all she wants to do is “tell the truth”. So where was the truth in any of that? She flat out lied again, says one thing to me and another to the press. The funniest part is she actually made me believe that she was concerned for me for a minute in our exchange of texts. I fell for her two-faced B.S. again.

Then she says to press, “That J was very apologetic” as if she is now buddies with the guy that she was trying to convince me was “trouble”. If you ask me this whole thing sounds strange. Maybe my initial intuition on the “lost episode” of questioning if I was being set up, wasn’t that far off after all. Who knows really, but then I have a flash back of the footage where Tamra is saying she was going to get me “naked wasted” at her dinner party “and she was going to make me do something stupid”. Makes a girl think.

J is not someone I choose to be around anymore or have in my life especially after the very sick and shallow things he has done to taint Jeff’s and my relationship. He is not someone I care to talk about, but unfortunately I have been forced to discuss because of the “lost episode”, Tamra’s lies, and his consistent attempt of putting his name in the media and stating lies about me. I made a poor choice to be-friend someone that obviously took advantage of my friendship by stealing from me, borrowing money he never paid back ($18,000 dollars to be exact), and using my name to bring his into the limelight. I am not sorry I had that friendship because I have learned a lot from it, but I am sorry that he had to ruin it by doing what he has done to me and the memories of Jeff.

On a personal note, as far as all the other footage on this “lost episode” it was so nice to see some of the happy moments that Jeff and I shared together and with the kids again. The footage was hard for me to see and so I am sure the kids will have a hard time seeing that footage as they no longer go to Dad’s house to have those bar-be-ques. Jeff always loved to hear the sound of all us together, it made him happy even in his darkest of days. Just laughing and giggling, and poking fun at each other. That really was a very fun day. We had no joke about 50 kids over to the house and we played all afternoon. Jeff was the “cool” dad and the kids loved to hang out at his house. I obviously got along well with all the kids and enjoyed my time with them every time we got to see them. I miss all our time together it has been a while since we all got together and had a good laugh. I talk to all of them still very often. They are all very good kids and had the great influence of their Dad to turn into great kids with a lot to offer this world. I am very proud of them and the battle they have endured over losing their Dad at such a young age.
I am in a much better place now, no longer vulnerable to predators and people that want to take advantage of me. I have good people around me and I will get through this period with my head held high. As far as Tamra goes, it’s sad that she just can’t “own” what she continues to lie about, and just stop talking trash on me. I have never been able to figure out why she cares so much about my life and what I choose to do. She is no longer someone I care to be friends with and I have given that woman numerous opportunities to make amends and be sincere about it, but I guess a leopard never changes it’s spots. Thanks to all my loyal fans and friends during this difficult period. As Tamra said, the truth will set you free. Gosh I feel much better now, thanks for the advice Tamra.

for the original, including the 300 or so comments, go to The Blog